New Dawn
by Child of the Muse
Summary: The leaving of her first love shatters Bella in ways she never expected, but through her heartbreak, she finds healing and solace in the arms of the most unlikely person imaginable. Sometimes, it takes hitting rock bottom, to really appreciate being back at the top. WARNINGS: AU, femslash, lemons. Don't like? Don't read. If you do read, please review and let me know if you like it!
1. Chapter One: Misery Preludes Harmony

**This story started because I realized that there aren't a lot of Bella/Esme stories out there. So I decided to make one because I TOTALLY ship Bella/Esme. This story takes Place in New Moon. **

**WARNINGS: AU, femslash, lemons. Don't like? Don't read.**

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Summary: The leaving of her first love shatters Bella in ways she never expected, but through her heartbreak, she finds healing and solace in the arms of the most unlikely person imaginable. Sometimes, it takes hitting rock bottom, to really appreciate being back at the top.**

**Chapter One: Misery Preludes Harmony**

The first time I saw Edward, he was a mystery that I would give anything to unravel. He acted so strangely around me, not that the whole family didn't act strangely anyway. But Edward was particularly strange. From the icy pale skin, to the golden eyes, to the intense way he stared me down. And I quickly became obsessed with his actions, because they told me that he was hiding something. But hiding what, exactly, was the question?

The first time I walked into biology, he was gazing at me intently. With nothing more than mere polite curiosity, until the fan blew my scent his way. The lean muscles under his shirt tensed and his jaw hardened. The polite countenance instantly turned into a deep expression of burning hatred. And I didn't know what I had done to cause a reaction. But I was too cowardly to even begin to ask him what I had done to offend him. So I handed the teacher my slip. But lady luck was not on my side, because he sat me right at the place where I least wanted to be seated. Right beside the infamous (to me) Edward Cullen.

When I sat beside him, said passive-aggressive bully slid his chair as far away from me as possible. And every time I peeked at him through my hair, he would stab me with those…_black_ eyes. WOW. He actually had _black _colored eyes. He must have been able to see perfectly fine, from what that burning scorching gaze was telling me, so he couldn't have Aniridia.

When I left biology for physical Ed, those eyes haunted me. And I decided that I would confront him the next day, only the next day was a no show. And the day after that.

And that day after that.

He was gone for three weeks, counting as a no show in class, all because he despised me. The reason was _still_ mystifying me and I just couldn't let it go.

I'd never forgotten the strange boy, Edward Cullen. But I'd been _mostly _able to put him out of my mind. So when he showed up randomly one day with what I thought were golden contacts, I was shocked. Why was he back? Why did he look nicer? Why was he _being_ nicer? And why were his eyes gold instead of black? I, of course, didn't know than what I knew now. So when he blamed the color change on the fluorescent lighting, than I _really_ became curious about why his eyes were that color.

Than he saved my life, stopping the van from crushing me. That was when I met Dr. Carlisle Cullen, his father. I suddenly realized what was meant when Charlie commented that all the nurses had a hard time doing their jobs around him. But he couldn't hold a candle to Edward, really. None of his brothers or sisters that I'd seen could either. Edward was beautiful.

And when I walked out of the room, I only heard the tale end of a very in-auspicious conversation.

"I don't understand your obsession with her. She's just a human, Edward."

"It's not an obsession, Rose. And I don't think there is any problem with letting her mingle with us. After all, she isn't afraid."

"Yeah, because you _stopped a van from crushing her!_ What are you Edward, stupid? What if she finds out what we are?"

That was when I walked out from around the corner. It was only later that I would realize that Carlisle let me hear that conversation to add to my stockpile of evidence. More proof of what they were…not human.

So we skirted around each other, teasing the other with our secrets. I amused him. But it wasn't my job to make him smile. It was my sole duty to find out what he was. Obviously he couldn't be human. There was just no way. And seeing as they'd both called _me_ human, that only added to that theory.

The first time I thought that the Cullens could be vampires was when I was walking with Jake at First Beach, a place the Cullens weren't allowed to go, from what the La Push natives had implied. Only, they weren't called "vampires" but "cold ones". Which seemed like an apt name, as the touch of Edward's hand from biology was freezing.

When we were in the meadow was the first time I told him I knew what he was. It was also the first time I had almost been kissed. I didn't know what happened that day. Edward was a really nice guy. And I really _did_ love him. But repulsion immediately welled within me when he tried to kiss me, and I turned my head away at the last second, feeling shy. He froze at my actions, and things became only slightly uncomfortable. Maybe I didn't want to kiss him because this wasn't what I wanted. What I _wanted _was to get to know him better and not be trapped with my back behind a rock if I was going to kiss him, which I really didn't want to do anyway. I also wanted some breathing room. I wasn't sure why he'd tried to kiss me that day. I guess he thought we were dating. And in a way, we were. I loved him, he loved me, and we were out on an outing together. So that was technically considered a date. But where were the emotions that went along with it?

That day and my feelings should have been the first sign for both of us that it wasn't meant to be. But I really did like Edward. I didn't want to lead him along, but I _did_ like him. There was just something about his family that attracted me. And in my mind, being this close to him was the only thing that would let me meet his family, and continue to unravel this curious mystery that was the Cullens. But the question remained, why was it so important to me? It's not like I was going to tell anyone. So why did I feel that I had to know so bad? I would get the answer to that for several months. So the only answer I had was to stick with him.

I felt guilty for it, but I really did want to meet the Cullen family.

So on a Saturday, we met his family that was composed of six unrelated vampires. I fidgeted in the car. More than getting eaten, I was afraid that they wouldn't like me. And I'd be right about one of them.

As we walked up to the door, Edward spoke. "I'm very sorry Bella, I told them not to do this."

We walked up into the kitchen were delicious smells wafted their way to my nose. I realized that I hadn't eaten since breakfast. But I still felt guilty for eating their food, even if they _were_ vampires. I didn't looked up when I was spoken too. I was looking everywhere but them. "Bella, we're making italiano for you."

"Oh, mmm." I smiled as I stared out the window, rocking a bit on my heels with my hands in my pockets. I was nervous.

"Bella, this is Esme, my mother for all intents and purposes."

I'd never looked up, feeling content to shuffle my feet. So I blushed at the floor. "Buongiorno."

"Molto Bene. I hope your hungry."

Her tone was kind, caring, sweet, joyful even. And so it was with shy curiosity when I looked up at her for the first time. And when I did, I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She was everything her voice portrayed. She was so kind, so sweet, so adoring, so…beautiful…and she so _married_ to a man that could have been a movie star. I was just plain ol' jane compared to a sweet, caring soul like Carlisle. There was no way she could want me.

And just as soon as I'd come, I'd wanted to leave. I desperately wanted to get out. Not because I was terrified of what they were, but because I was terrified of me. I should have been labeled as a home wrecker. And I'm guessing that's why Rosalie never liked me. I shook my head to get rid of the dark train of thoughts.

"Yeah, absolutely."

I sat down at the table. It was so hard to think around her. She was so beautiful. When I slid into the seat, my shoelace came undone. So, feeling embarrassed, I reached down to tie it, accidentally cutting my finger on the plastic part of the shoelace.

And than, I heard glass shatter. "Perfect."

"Bella, just ignore Rosalie, I do."

"Yeah lets just keep pretending like this isn't dangerous for all of us."

I immediately felt bad. "I would _never_ tell _anybody_ **_anything_**."

Carlisle tried to mediate, he was obviously the head of the family. "She knows that." And he gave Rosalie a look. Not a stern look. Just a look.

"Yeah well the problem is the two of you have gone public now so…"

"Emmett…" Esme's voice was full of compassion.

"No, she should know." Rosalie stepped closer to me, leaning over the table, and looking me in the eye. "The entire family will be implicated if this ends badly."

"O-oh. You mean, badly as in I-I would become the meal."

That got a few chuckles out of everyone.

"I brought you a bandaid Bella. I saw that you would cut your finger." She wrapped the bandage around the cut.

"Thanks Alice."

"She can see the future."

"Oh."

Once the bandage was wrapped around me, I saw Jasper swing in from a tree branch outside the window. "And Jasper is new to the family."

"Hello Bella."

"Hi."

"Bon Appetite, Bella." Instead of thinking of the food, my first thought was that Esme had beautiful hands.

I popped the first piece of marinated grilled chicken in my mouth…and moaned around the delicious flavor tantalizing my sensitive taste buds. Are vampires good at _everything_?

"I think someone likes it."

I swallowed before saying anything to Emmett, remembering my manners. "Yeah, it's fantastic."

But I quickly became self-conscious about eating because everyone was just sitting there, watching me. Esme, thankfully, got everyone talking. "So Bella, we figured you'd like to hear a little bit more about us?"

I swallowed. "That would be nice." I took a small sip of sprite as everything everyone said to me went in one ear and out the other. Esme was my main focus. And after dinner, she'd even been so kind as to give me a grand tour of the house. It was both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because I had the chance to marvel at what must have been beautifully soft cold sweet skin. A curse because that expanse of silk covered pearl would never be mine. When I left, I felt more like I should be kissing Esme goodbye, than Edward.

Shortly after that, I saw her again. Vampire Baseball. Everyone's got to have fun _sometime_ right? So they'd play baseball and instead of just sitting around and watching, I actually got to help Esme play.

"I'm glad your here. We need someone to be the umpire."

"She thinks we cheat."

She looked at Emmett with a rather teasing look. "I _know _you cheat." Her arms felt so good around my shoulders and I would give anything to be teased in such a way. "Call em as you see em Bella."

"Ok." I couldn't help but smile. She made everyone smile. She was the light in all our lives.

And when the first bat was swung I suddenly realized, "Ok, now I see why you need the thunder…so, that's gotta be a home run, right?"

She shook her head. "Edward's very fast."

And by the time Rosalie slid into home, she was out.

As the wind blew Esme's hair into my face, I could smell that sugary sweet scent. But I should have known things would go down the drain pretty quickly, considering I was a bad luck magnet.

And that was when the fiasco with James, Victoria, and Laurant started. By the end of the dramatic and dangerous meeting, I had tubes sticking out of me everywhere, I was still a human, my leg was broken, I was in pain, and I was thirsty; but at that moment, none of that mattered. I looked into Edwards face and searched around the room violently with my eyes, searching for _her._

My mom was whispering my name, trying to get me to wake up fully. My eyes still _were_ a bit blurry. I was saying whatever I could to appease her and get her out so I could talk to Edward. I _had_ to talk to Edward. How else would I know if Esme was ok? And that was when she said "Oh baby, you are going to love Jackson Ville. It's sunny everyday you can have your own bathroom and-"

"Mom, I wanna live in forks."

"What?" She was shocked. She looked at me as if she hadn't heard me right. So I repeated.

"I wanna live in forks."

"Ok, well, we'll talk about it." Obviously she thought it was my medication. But it was Esme. It was _all_ Esme.

"Do you mind getting dad I need to talk to him apologize?" I needed an excuse to get her out of here.

"Ok I'll go get him. And I'll go get a nurse ok?"

I nodded. I'd rather do it myself, but I couldn't move.

As soon as she left the room, I couldn't hold back the panic anymore. "Wha-wha-what happened? Where is Esme? I need to know where Esme is. Is she safe?"

That was probably the turning point in mine and Edward's relationship. That was when he realized something was wrong. There had been plenty of signs before that. But this sealed the deal. And there was a question in his eyes.

"Esme?"

"Yes, Esme. Is she ok? Did James get her? Oh my god! Edward, is she still alive?!"

"Calm down Bella, of course she's still alive. She's here in the hospital, just outside actually. She's waiting for you to wake up. Would you like to see her?"

"Yes. I need to see her. I need to make sure she's ok."

And that was when she walked in, the beautiful sweet kind woman who wanted nothing more than to see me better, truly walked into my life. She was so perfect. And I couldn't stop looking over every inch of her. "Your sure your not hurt?"

"I'm fine Bella, your the one that's hurt. And you need your rest now."

"But-"

"Hush, now. I'm fine. Get some sleep."

"Can you promise me that you won't go?"

Her smile was soft, sweet, kind, and fiercely loyal. "I will not leave your side, my beautiful Belle." She kissed me on the cheek and I swear I could feel the burn for hours afterward. Even in my sleep. It was from than on that I began to dream of Esme.

Her lips on my cheek. My lips crushed against hers. Sitting, cuddling in the light streaming from the window, watching what looked like sparkling encrusted diamonds embedded into the coldness of her skin. I wanted her, desperately. This continued on even after I was out of the case. Esme had become my life. In fact, I was so caught up in Esme that I didn't even realize my own birthday was approaching. So when I found myself in a dress and being carted off to the Cullens for my birthday party, I was a bit shell shocked. And that was when the big showdown went happened.

"Sorry about all this, we couldn't reign Alice in."

Esme scoffed. "As if that was even possible." Her hug lasted significantly longer than Carlisle's. And I really didn't want to let her go. But for the sake of the watching eyes, I reluctantly stopped touching her. And I regretted it immediately.

Rosalie handed, more like shoved, me a box. "It's a necklace. Alice picked it out."

I was handed the next gift. It was from Emmett. But there was nothing inside. I was confused, was this his idea of a joke? "Oh…uh, thanks Emmett."

Everyone started laughing. "It's a stereo. Already installed in your truck. Finally, a sound system for the crappy piece of ju-"

"Hey, don't hate the truck."

The last gift was the one I was the most excited about. It was from Carlisle and Esme. It was on this one that I received a paper cut. As opposed to the first time, this time Jasper was actually in the room when I started bleeding. And whereas most of the vampires in the room could resist that, they couldn't resist the pouring rivers of red streaming from my arms as Edward pushed me into a mirror to get me away from Jasper. Esme refused to leave my side the entire time. But everyone else that wasn't Carlisle and Esme had to leave, even, eventually, Edward.

When they all came back, Edward offered to take me home. But Esme, instead, said we should all sit down and talk this out. Though I was shy, I agreed with her. So there we were, seated around the kitchen table. And after all I'd been through, I couldn't help but think that something bad was coming. Because I knew them well enough to know.


	2. Chapter 2: Down to a Vote

**A/N I hope you all like chapter two :) I've tried to skip over cosy-ing up to Edward because this story isn't about him. I hope that didn't ruin things. If you want another chapter, please review :) Chapter three is already written and waiting for you. So is chapter four ;)**

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As I was led to the table I couldn't help but think of all that me and Edward had been through. So many things had changed.

Because as school came close to ending and time went on, as time tended to do, my emotions had begun to grow for Edward. How could they not? He was kind. He was sweet. He was chilvarous, tender, loving, respectful. Any girl would be lucky to have him. So why couldn't I just have him?

I wasn't sure when these feelings had started to grow alongside the ones I had for Esme, but that fact was a never-ending source of guilt in my life for me. It felt like I was two timing Edward with Esme and Esme with Edward. I couldn't believe it was so hard. I couldn't believe I was so _greedy_.

So it didn't surprise me that Edward acted to save me from Jasper. He was closest to me and reacted in my defense. I thought it was very sweet, even if he had to disappear afterwards. And the fact that Esme stayed...she endured. But that didn't make me love Edward any less. I felt like a...homewrecker.

I sat down at the table, waiting for the meeting to begin. I couldn't help but feel like I didn't belong in this seat, at this table, with this family. I wasn't a vampire, I wasn't a part of this family, and I was emotionally two timing Edward with Esme and vice versa. The guilt was absolutely stifling. I kept my head down and heard Esme's voice break the silence. I looked up...she was sitting right next to me.

"Because of Edward..." She paused, took a shuddering deep breathe, and continued, but the pain in her eyes was clearly evident. "Bella has entered our lives for a purpose. She is a part of our family now, whether she is with Edward or not. And without Bella here, we would not be a family. However, that being said, I don't think any of us can live our life with Bella continually getting hurt like this. First James, who not only put her in a hospital, but almost turned her into a vampire. And now because of her blood, one of our own have tried to attack her. I say we bring it to a family vote, as Bella needs our help to get through this. So we need to make a decision whether we want Bella to join the family or not."

Needless to say, Edward was outraged. His body language and face said so much that he didn't even have to talk. But he did. "Absolutely not. She will not become a vampire. I won't let that happen."

Esme scowled at him with piercing passionate eyes. I was surprised at how well she was keeping control of her emotions...and yet, how for the first time, she looked like a vampire to me.

"It's not your choice to make."

"I don't think your understanding me. She's _my_ mate. She's _my_ Bella. I'm _not_ going to make her life any worse than it already is. My answer is no and that's the only answer that counts."

The words were expected, but that didn't stop them from breaking my heart any less. After all, Edward was my first love. Considering the fact that I wanted to stay here beside him and Esme forever, the fact that he was telling me no was at the very least, extraordinarily painful. But I put that aside for the time being. There were other votes to be cast.

Emmett smiled a bear eating grin. "Finally, another little sister to play with. Hell yeah!"

Rosalie scowled at me heavily. "No. I do _not_ want to have to put up with the baggage and drama she's about to drag into this house."

I flinched. But Rosalie's reaction was to be expected.

A texan accent accented. "It would be nice not to want to kill you all the time."

"And I would absolutely _love_ another shopping partner!" Of course that would be Alice. But the person I was the most nervous about, was Carlisle.

"Edward, you have chosen not to live without her. And that leaves me no choice."

"No!"

Before I knew it I was being rushed out of the house and buckled into a car and speeding down the road, all in the blink of an eye. I trusted Edward, but I couldn't stop the bit of nervousness that was swirling around in my stomach. I wished I hadn't eaten anything.

"I won't let them take you from me Bella! I love you too damn much!"

"Edward don't you think it's my decision?"

We were already at my house.

"You don't know what your doing Bella."

We sat there quiet for a moment, neither of us daring to say anything.

"Should I leave my window open tonight?"

"No. I have to hunt. I will see you in the morning. Goodnight Bella."

"Um, goodnight." I got out of the car, feeling guilty that I'd responded like a coward.

I was thankful that Charlie was asleep by the time I got home. Normally I would help him to bed. But all I wanted now was to take a tylonel, creep up into my bedroom, and fall into the deepest sleep I'd ever had. But I should have known I wouldn't be able to get that. Instead I fell into a restless sleep.

_I was almost ninty-nine percent sure I was dreaming. The sun never shown in forks and even when it did, it NEVER looked like this._

_The sun literally threw rays down through a small clearing the the trees up above, bathing the meadow in the most beautiful golden light. But beyond those trees, was darkness. Darkness where I knew he would be waiting._

_"Edward, please, come here."_

_But I heard nothing. I only saw those eyes, staring at me from the dark._

_"Bella, my darling. My beautiful Bella, please forgive me."_

_"Edward?"_

_The sun faded, the darkness was empty, and the rain began to pour. Edward was gone._


End file.
